


The Babe at the Bar

by orphan_account



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Genderbend, Humor, Smut, Well - Freeform, i didn't create this genderbent chara tho, it's mostly played straight, rhink, sorta - Freeform, technically rhink, that's all randl's doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-04 11:57:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4136625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Link liked interesting people, so it was only a matter of time before he was chatting up the impossibly tall, blonde, bearded woman sitting with her legs crossed at the bar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Babe at the Bar

**Author's Note:**

> This still counts as Rhink (I hope!) because it’s Rhettina. It’s an AU where, in Link’s world, Rhett doesn’t exist, but Rhettina does. It’s obviously inspired by that convo (you know the one) from the “Party Tricks” ep of GMM.

Link liked interesting people. So it was only a matter of time before he was chatting up the impossibly tall, blonde, statuesque woman sitting with her legs crossed at the bar.

When Link first sees her, she’s sitting sideways, angled into the bar counter, which only gives him a glimpse of her profile – thick, blonde, wavy hair piled up into a bun on top of her head, a long, straight, sharp nose. He can make out that she’s wearing a light summer dress over jeans (Link isn’t much of a fashionista, but even he can appreciate that kind of flair). But upon properly approaching her, he is able to fully appreciate the floral print on her dress, and take in the fact that she is much, much taller than he had originally thought. She has a gorgeous face – thick, dramatic, perfectly plucked eyebrows, large, hooded eyes, high cheekbones, thin lips almost always curved into a wry smile.

She also has a beard. It’s thin, brown, neatly trimmed, and Link thinks it’s a stunning look.

Link pulls up a stool beside her, and they fall into easy chatter after introducing themselves – “Hey, there, how you doin’? I’m Charles – but everyone calls me Link.” “Hey, yourself. I’m Rhettina, but you’re free to call me Tina.” “Forgive me if this is a little forward, Tina, but…you are quite a beautiful woman.” “*Giggles* I guess I am, aren’t I.” – talking about everything under the sun, drinks making them loosen up and reveal some more personal things than one would normally share with an almost-stranger.

Link especially takes note of this, in his mind. He guesses it shows on his face, his worry, because Tina calls him out on it.

“You sure you should be flirting with lil’ ol’ me?” Tina asks. “You seem a little lost, sweet thing. A little shaky.”  
  
Link shakes his head hastily. “I’m always a little shaky,” he replies. “But I’m not lost. I know exactly where I’m goin’.”  
  
“You seem - forgive me - a little guilty.” Tina regards him with intuitive eyes. “I don’t want to be the cause of a catastrophe.”  
  
“Oh, make no mistake: there is someone, but I’m not cheating. They know. And love it.”  
  
“Oh?” Arms slip around his neck, a giant bosom presses into his chest, a sultry face stares into his. Link’s mouth goes slack as his mind short circuits for a moment. Tina takes this opportunity to plant an open mouthed kiss on him. Link forgets basic motor skills and his hand droops, tipping his glass and sending his drink cascading into Tina’s lap.   
  
She yelps and jerks away on reflex, startling Link back into reality.   
  
Link is speechless, stunned into silence by embarrassment and arousal.   
  
And then Tina slowly lifts her head, makes eye contact with him.   
  
“Now look at what you’ve done,” she says slowly. “My lap is all wet.” She touches the fabric with delicate fingers. “See?” She grabs Link’s hand and places it on her leg, moves it back and forth, particularly high up her when she moves it ‘back’.   
  
Link’s breaths begin to grow shallow. His body heats up.   
  
“I’m sorry, Tina,” he manages.  
  
Tina licks her lips and then bites her lower one.   
  
“What are you going to do about this, Charles?”  
  
Link stares at her, completely oblivious to the rest of the bar around them. He gives her the once-over, his gaze coming to rest at the sight of his hand on her dress. His fingers flex and clutch lightly at the soaked fabric.   
  
“…Well, Rhettina,” Link begins, forcing himself to look up again. Tina preens under all the attention.   
  
Link looks her in the eyes. They’re hazel-y green, the kind that never really truly stick to one color, and they’re dancing and flickering and smoldering all at the same time.   
  
“I think we should get you out of those soaked clothes,” he says quietly.  
  
Tina’s mouth curves into a smirk. “Sounds like a plan,” she says. “I hate being so wet.”  
  
Oh, Lord help him. 

  
  
***

  
  
There’s a bit of a debate in the Uber car about whose home to go to, but in the end, they’re dropped off at Tina’s place (“So I’ll have something nice to slip into for you in the morning,” she’d said, her lips pressed right up against his ear).  
  
The rest of the night is blurry, spacey, almost otherworldly to Link. He barely notices or registers his surroundings as they rip one another’s clothing off and tumble into Tina’s bed.   
  
And then everything is sensations – sweat and slick and  _heat heat heat_. There are glimpses, snapshots, that stand out in Link’s mind – Tina’s legs spreading into a wide ‘v’ on the bed, his fingers slipping inside of her, her face contorting around breathy, breathless moans of pleasure.

“I don’t believe it,” Tina gasps, as Link’s fingers move in and out of her at an agonizing pace. “Are you a magician?”

Link’s panting himself, incredibly turned on by his partner’s pleasure. His lips quirk up into an open-mouthed smirk.

“That’s right, baby,” he murmurs. “It’s all me, doin’ it with my fingers.” He blindly crooks his fingers on the next thrust and Tina practically screams. Link grins, keeps the angle, brushes right up against the spot over and over, drawing the loveliest noises he has ever heard from his companion.

“Oh, you’re so  _magical_ …!” Tina cries, clutching at the sheets, driving her hips to match Link. “Oh, this is so hot!”

And the last snapshot Link remembers is the sight of Tina going over the edge, toes curling, legs tensing, hips snapping up, throwing her head back and letting out the most wonderful moan.

“That’s right,” Link says lowly, petting her through it. “That’s good. Come down for a landing in my arms, baby.”

 

***

 

Sometime later, they’re all wrapped up around one another. Legs tangled, skin-to-skin everywhere, Link’s head pillowed against Tina’s breasts and Tina toying with his hair as they enjoy the afterglow.

“Link, sweetie,” Tina says quietly. Link hums.

“Yeah?”

“Am I the first time you’ve ever done this…for a girl?”

Link snorts. “Yeah, you are the first time I’ve ever done this,” he says, light sarcasm in his voice.

Tina giggles a little. “I’m sorry, I always have this fantasy about being my partners’ first. The first time is always quite the experience.” She sighs wistfully. “But this…this was really hot, too.” She cranes her neck down slightly to kiss Link’s forehead. Her beard scratches pleasantly against his skin. “Except for my lap…it’s kinda wet.”

Now Link can’t help but laugh. “Sorry about that, Rhettina.”


End file.
